I AM DZOI

Things you shouldn’t do in front of a child

Just recently, The Husband and I had a minor fight over a stupid thing. It wasn’t that big but we were both tired and stressed out that there were a lot of shouting, almost all of them from my side. Sandy was watching us all the time with a puzzled look on her face. She was throwing tantrums before the said episode but immediately stopped when she saw her parents bickering. She probably thought I looked funny the way I move my hands back and forth while screaming at the top of my lungs because she kept on laughing and asking, “what happened to mommy?”. It was really stupid and we agreed before not to talk harshly with each other when the little one’s present. In fact, we’re not allowed to raise our voice to each other even if it’s just the two of us. But like I said, we were both very tired and needed to let off some steam. I guess the reason why I can’t stop is because I know that the little girl is finding everything funny. And the scene ended up in hugs and kisses with Sandy still laughing. So everything was fine, and I feel safe that I didn’t ruin Sandy’s childhood memories.

However, a couple of days after that, two weeks to be exact, Sandy kept on remembering the fight. She wasn’t afraid or sad or anything like that, she was just narrating it the way she used to tell stories about everything else. She remembers every detail, from the color of my shirt to the words that her Papa used to explain what happened to how the three of us ended up sitting in the sofa hugging. The sight of my shirt sitting in the laundry basket can trigger her memory and then she’ll narrate the thing all over again, in detail I tell you. Good thing she tells it when we’re alone. I reminded The Husband that we should never fight (if we have to) when Sandy’s around. I grew up in a house filled with shouting and fights and I know exactly how long it will take to erase those memories. It’s sad, painful and something that we shouldn’t let our kids experience if we can.