I wanted to blog about something but I’m afraid it might take more than 600 words to say what I really want. I also didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so I’m cutting it short.
The day you became a mother, a baby’s life and how it will survive depends on you. No matter how tired you are, how sleep deprived you are, none of these things matter if your baby is being neglected.
I know I rant about not being able to sleep, how I want my ME time but the truth is, you just don’t have a choice. You just do what you can to keep it together. You can get a break from a nanny, your husband or parents but you, the mother is still the best caregiver for your child.
I’ve read in a forum about a mom who complains about being too tired when she gets home from work. She didn’t want to take care of her baby anymore because she’s just too beat to do anything. She was asking if it’s okay for the baby to stay with her yaya 24/5 since she takes care of the baby during weekends. Sorry but that’s just a load of crap. Well, she asked.
I was told plenty of times that it’s easier for me because I work from home. I can lie down anytime I want, sleep, rest, and watch TV etc. Yes, I can do all that IF I’ll ever find the time. Juggling a baby / toddler wanting your attention every minute and meeting deadlines at work is not something everyone should take lightly. I understand how tiring it is to go out of the house and work in a real office. But still, you have a break from being a mother. You can be yourself, focus on your tasks and take long lunches if you like. You had your time, eight hours and more if you count travel time, so I guess taking care of your babies when you get home won’t be asking too much.
I’m not saying that SAHM / WAHMs are better than working moms because they’re not. Both are doing the best they can to raise their children and still manage to put food on the table. I’m just talking about women who seem to conveniently forget that a child needs them. You go home early if you can, your kids need you. Play with them as much as possible. They will not remain children forever. I’m not the greatest mother but I don’t consider taking care of my child when I’m tired, or worse sick, a problem. It’s just something that you have to do.
I know I said short, but this is too long already.
No Response
Vannie
30|May|2008 1well said Joy. I totally agree since we are the same (WHAM’s) I know where your coming from.
opposite nga dba, after a long day at the office coming home to the child should be a relaxing experience & not a burden.
minsa lang sila magiging bata…its too bad if we miss out on that.
Vannie’s last blog post..Shopping Crazy
dzoi
30|May|2008 2I don’t want to sound like I’m preaching Vannie, so it’s good that you understand. Maybe some mothers are just not ready you think?
USA Crisis » Mothers.
30|May|2008 3[...] admin wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick extract [...]
Litzie
30|May|2008 4I have admiration and much respect to stay at home moms, I experienced that for 3 months after I gave birth at may colic pa si Dustin nun so life was never easy back then. Pero when I look back, natutuwa ako at ako ang nag-alaga kay Dustin during those times.
Ngayon, I always hurry myself in going home, so I can play ang take care of my son kahit mga 4 hours lang bago siya matulog. I never let the nanny take care of everything, I bathe him and dress him up every morning before going to work. Tama ka, minsan lang sila maging bata kaya pag may time like weekends, never nahahawakan ng Nanny nya si dustin unless we need to go somewhere important na di pwede i-tag along si Dustin….
Great post Dzoi. Very sensible!
Litzie’s last blog post..Different June
kelly
30|May|2008 5you hurt my feelings! joke. bwehehe.
teka, san ba ito? sorry at chismosa ako
i can’t imagine a mom wanting to be with his kid just twice a week. i can’t understand. why is she feeling this way? doesn’t she want to be with her son/daughter? i don’t get it.
kelly’s last blog post..Starting A New Business
Vannie
30|May|2008 6I don’t know about ‘not being ready’ because when i got pregnant i was not ready!!
honestly.
but i learned. i was panicky & cranky at times (esp kung walang tulog) and ur ryt complain about not having ME time. but 2-3 hours of me time is enough na dba? ahahaha
anyway…baka some just don’t really know their priorities yet…(?) immature?
saan ba yan parang interesting ang usapan! ahahaha
Vannie’s last blog post..Shopping Crazy
alpha
30|May|2008 7hmmm baka may reason behind dun sa nararamdaman nya.. like stress, post partum, or di tumutulong si daddy kaya ganun. napanood ko kasi sa nanny 911, bad mood si mommy madalas, yun pala kay daddy sya naiinis kasi tamad. nung nagbago si daddy, umayos yung household nila..
alpha’s last blog post..Bad Hair Day.
christine
30|May|2008 8hello. it’s my first time here..
i agree with what you shared.. there shouldn’t be a “competition” between SAHMs and WAHMS/Working Moms. we all have our reasons for choosing what we want to do but hopefully not at the expense of the child’s welfare.
christine’s last blog post..Good (and Bad) Things Must Come to an End
jody
31|May|2008 9teka, sang forum ito? hahaha, tsimosa ko!
very well said….work at home, stay at home or working moms, we are all the same in the eyes of our children…we are their moms and we’ve got to do our duties.
time out muna…tagged you na lang…
http://jodyliwanag.com/?p=479
shimumsy
31|May|2008 10i always say that i go to work to rest but of course i do miss my baby which sometimes right ‘cuz sa bahay dalawa sila ng tatay nya ang tumatawag saken. dito pa wala kang yaya tho i have a babysitter. being a mother is 24/7 or even more.
shimumsy’s last blog post..Yummy polvoron
Joyce
03|Jun|2008 11That’s very true…kahit gaano kahirap kahit di ka na makatayo sa sakit at pagod tatayo ka pa rin for your kids….SAHM/WAHM pare parehas yan..you still have your duty as a mother.
Joyce’s last blog post..Finally updating…hahahha
dzoi
03|Jun|2008 12hi litzie! ikaw nga example ko ng laging nagmamadali umuwi to see Dustin eh haha. well iba iba lang siguro talaga ang mommies. wala naman problem kung gusto mo umalis alis, nagtataka lang ako na okay lang sa iba na wag talaga alagaan kahit iisang house lang sila
dzoi
03|Jun|2008 13chismis ka talaga, isa sa mga friend ko to actually and an old thread at n@w. i know some moms have no choice because they don’t have fulltime nannies. kaya iniiwan nila sa mga inlaws ang baby. but this one eh kasama nya sa house. anyway, baka nga may baby blues sya.
dzoi
03|Jun|2008 14totoo yan alpha, may ganyan din ako kilala eh. baka nga post partum, I don’t know. one year old na yung baby
masyadong napahaba lang ang post ko kasi sinabihan ako ng kausap ko ng “sa bahay ka lang kasi eh”. WTF.
dzoi
03|Jun|2008 15hi christine thanks for reading. there’s really no competition. all moms are doing their best to raise their kids, which is why I can’t believe the poster when she asked that question.
have a great day!
dzoi
03|Jun|2008 16hi jody, isa ka pa mapangusisa hahaha. done with this tag but I didn’t post it kasi elementary daw LOL
dzoi
03|Jun|2008 17mommies without yayas are superwomen
hats off to you shimumsy. i don’t know how i’d survive without help.
My BIG Picture » More on Updates
03|Jun|2008 18[...] should really post a more sensible entry one of these days like the one I read over at Dzoi’s blog. But I can’t think straight right now. I’m really in a [...]
Mai
06|Jun|2008 19Ditto to everything you said Joy. I totally more than agree..ako eto..first day of being a SAHM and I enjoyed every single sec that I’m with my baby today. I just resigned kasi my family is my topmost priority now and with me working, feeling ko di ko naibibigay ang best motherly skills ko sa baby ko.
Mai’s last blog post..3 Months.
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